November 21st, 2007

‘I’m eating for two’

Yes!
I am expecting -
childing -
got a bun in the oven.
.

The oven’s been ‘on’ for 20 weeks now, exactly half-way of the 40 week pregnancy period. The bump is getting bigger by the day. I can feel kicks & movements already too!
.
My my, it is soooo very exciting, & it feels just right. I feel blessed that a life has decided to come & be my baby. Day by day, I strongly feel maternal toward her. Yes, ‘her’. Just found out yesterday that ‘it’ is a girl!!! ;-) :-)
.
I love her so much already it’s amazing. I think it’s because I experienced a near-miscarriage with this pregnancy in week 7, for 3-days thinking I did lose the baby, that I feel so precious about this life.

.

Those 3 days…, is still quite raw for me. I will never forget the moment when the (young) doctor at the emergency room telling me that it IS a miscarriage.

I will never forget the shock & anger of having to wait ’til Tuesday for a scan as it’s a bank holiday weekend… (A miscarriage is not deemed an emergency, since once it starts, it can not be stopped).
I will never forget the moment when I decided to sell cakes anyhow the following day (there were so many baked cakes – was I to throw it away? Spend the whole of Saturday sobbing in my bed?). I preferred the idea of being busy & not think of it.
I will never forget the tears D tried to wipe without me seeing. Sitting on the street curb after the market had finished, our son in-between us, merrily eating a white chocolate ice-cream.
I will never forget gulping in the urge to cry, waiting for a scan at the doctors after 3 days.

I will never forget the surprise & the super-joy of finding out the baby was in fact absolutely fine & healthy. (it was the inside of my stomach bleeding, not the baby).
.

.
So anyway, this winter, you’re gonna see me down at the market with ridiculously over-sized winter-coat that belongs to D, since my coats don’t zip-up no more. And oh, I’ll be wearing tights, leggings, knee-length-socks & then trousers too, – I’m sure I will look like I’ve put a fat-suit on… totally not on-trend, especially down the trendsy Hackney vibe with skinny young girls strutting the latest fashion, but oh well, c’est la vie…!

42 Comments »

  1. Congratulations, Tamami!

    I know exactly what you mean. I too had spotting at 6 – 7 weeks and my gynae said it was 50-50 chance of miscarriage. Now I have healthy 11 year old twin boys!

    All the best.

    Comment by Caprice - November 21, 2007 11:33 am

  2. Hi Caprice! Thanks! I had spottings during my first pregnancy too – but this time it was full-on floods of it. – By the way, twin boys!!!! wowza! must have been handful when they were little right? ;-) I have ONE son aged 3, & he sure is a handful right now…!!!

    Comment by Tamami - November 21, 2007 11:57 am

  3. Omedeto gozaimasu Tamami-san!

    Comment by clotilde - November 21, 2007 3:20 pm

  4. Arigatou, Clotilde!

    Comment by Tamami - November 21, 2007 7:42 pm

  5. Hi Tamami!!! Didn’t I say it would be a girl?!? I just knew it!! Congratulations again to you and Dirk san. Sooo happy for you:)

    Comment by Akiko - November 22, 2007 2:18 am

  6. What are little girls made of?
    “Sugar and spice and all things nice
    That’s what little girls are made of!”

    おめでと ございます!

    Comment by Sam - November 22, 2007 4:13 am

  7. Good to hear from you, Akiko! Thanx!! – And I remember you telling me (with conviction) that it’ll be a girl. ;-) Like, you were like, ‘definately’!! How funny!
    .
    Hi Sam, thank you very much! Love that rhyme!

    Comment by tamami - November 22, 2007 9:42 am

  8. Hi Tamami-san – Congratulations! I’m so happy for you!

    Best wishes!

    Comment by Cindy - November 23, 2007 8:39 am

  9. Hello Tamami,
    Congratulations! God will protect u, don’t worry…..have a miracle daughter, so i know for certain. am an occassional visitor to your blog….but am leaving a comment for the first time. Your blog is an absolute delight to learn from….i love baking and experiment whenever i get the time.
    All the very best!
    God bless…

    Comment by Savika - November 23, 2007 10:53 am

  10. hello Cindy! Thank you!!!
    .
    And hello to Savika. Thank you! & thanks for leaving a comment for the first time! Always good to hear from the readers!!

    Comment by tamami - November 23, 2007 12:11 pm

  11. wow- you bought tears to my eyes!As someone who is having major problems conceiving I send you warmest wishes and congratulations on your happy news..I shall follow your blog even more closely now!

    Comment by anna - November 23, 2007 12:59 pm

  12. Hi Anna! Thank you! And good luck with conceiving. You’re still in your twenties, so load-za-time! So relax – sometimes that is the best things to do… , and boom! you’re pregnant! – I battle with endometriosis, & have been having nightmares for a long long time about wether I can conceive, so I kinda know how it can become ultra-stressful – if you let it, that is…

    Comment by tamami - November 23, 2007 5:21 pm

  13. Congratulations! A beautiful baby to inherit all your creativity.

    Comment by sweetrosie - November 25, 2007 11:32 am

  14. Thank you Sweetrosie!!!!!!

    Comment by tamami - November 25, 2007 12:52 pm

  15. How exciting you’re having a girl – a whole new world of pink opens up for you!!
    I wil try and pop into I’s party as wld be great to see you even if it’s to drop off a present, but that weekend is soooo busy (D’s 40th party, family visits, friendsstaying overnight the night before etc) I can’t say for sure.
    Wld love to see you in xmas hols – we are away btwn xmas and new year tho’ so early 2008, they don’t go back til 7 Jan so cld always come in a morning if I is back at school!
    C x

    Comment by Claire - November 25, 2007 9:42 pm

  16. Hello Claire!! Ah, yes, the world of pink… never been a fan of that colour but I do love going clothes shopping, so I’m sure I’d get ‘in’ to it!
    Don’t worry about I’s b-party, sounds like you’ve seriously got it busy…
    And, yup, lets organize a good ol’ catch-up, I’ve already bought a 2008 calendar to write in!

    Comment by tamami - November 25, 2007 10:36 pm

  17. Congratulations Tamami ! All the best

    Cheers,
    Alice

    Comment by Alice - November 26, 2007 5:33 am

  18. Thanks Alice!!!! ;-) ;-)

    Comment by tamami - November 26, 2007 9:35 am

  19. Congratulations!!

    I’ve been a faithful reader of your blog from the beginning, but this is my first time leaving a comment. I’ve also been meaning for ages to actually come visit your stall – will try my very best to do so this weekend and congratulate you in person!

    Comment by Rachel - November 26, 2007 10:03 pm

  20. W.O.W! Thank you! From the beginning?! That’s amazing! Look forward to seeing you down at the market!

    Comment by tamami - November 26, 2007 10:27 pm

  21. Umm, yes… happened to find you through Chocolate and Zucchini right when you started the blog! And given my monster-sized sweet tooth (and the fact that I don’t exactly live on the other side of the world from Hackney… Highbury, to be exact!) it’s really a shame I haven’t made it to your stall yet…!

    Comment by Rachel - November 26, 2007 10:39 pm

  22. Congrats Tamami … a little girl .. how wonderful. You will have fun dolling and dressing her up !!

    Comment by Yew Ming - November 27, 2007 9:53 am

  23. Thanks Yew Ming! I’m going to find the ‘inner pink’ in me, & go full-on with the dressing up!

    Comment by tamami - November 27, 2007 12:02 pm

  24. Warmest congratulations Tamami that is wonderful news and may the rest of your pregnancy be glowing! One of things I like best about visiting here is how much you share in your posts.
    The pink will conquer all (as will the Barbies and the Bratz)!!

    Comment by Laura - November 27, 2007 5:46 pm

  25. Hi Laura! Thanx! Sharing in terms of thoughts or personal information? I guess both right? Well, I guess it stems down to me not being able to keep my mouth shut!!! ;-) ;-)
    ps: yikes – I totally detest those Bratz dolls… I hope she won’t want ‘em… because I will not buy in to it…

    Comment by tamami - November 27, 2007 9:44 pm

  26. Sharing thoughts, personal information, amazing recipes the whole lot!

    Hopefully Bratz will be a thing of the past before your little girl can fall into their oversized head clutches!

    Comment by Laura - November 27, 2007 10:26 pm

  27. Hello Tamami-san,

    Omedeto on your pregnancy.

    Because you are a Japanese pastry chef I thought you might be interested in MIDORI BY MOONLIGHT, a comic, cross-cultural novel, out now, that has a mouth-watering pastry theme running through it that makes many a reader either head to the kitchen to start baking or just make a beeline to the nearest cake shop.

    What happens when a young woman, fresh from Japan and too independent for Japanese society, finds herself suddenly lost in translation in San Francisco as she searches for her American Dream and the perfect dessert?

    Wendy Nelson Tokunaga answers this question and more in her poignant comic novel, MIDORI BY MOONLIGHT, where we meet thirty-year-old Midori Saito, whose dream seems about to come true. A strong independent streak has always made her feel like a stranger in a strange land in her native Japan, but now she’s embarking on a new life in San Francisco. She’s about to marry Kevin, the perfect American man—six feet tall, with curly hair the color of marmalade. Unlike a Japanese guy who’d demand she be a housewife, Kevin doesn’t mind if Midori follows her dream of becoming a master pastry chef. Her life is turning out as exquisitely as a Caramelized Apple Tart with Crème Fraiche, until Kevin dumps her at their engagement party in favor of his blonde, ex-fiancée, whom Midori never even knew existed.

    Now Midori is not only on her own—with just a smattering of fractured English in her repertoire—she’s entered the U.S. on a fiancée visa that will expire in sixty days. Unable to face the humiliation of telling her parents she’s been dumped, and not wanting to give up on her American dream, Midori realizes she’s “up the creek without a saddle.” Her only hope is new acquaintance Shinji, 30, who long ago escaped Japan after a family tragedy, is a successful San Francisco graphic artist and amateur moon gazer, and who lets her share his apartment as a platonic roommate.

    Soon Midori finds herself working at an under-the-table hostess job at an unsavory Japanese karaoke bar, making (and eating) way too many desserts, meeting a charming and handsome chef with his own restaurant who may be too good to be true, and trying to uncover the secret behind a mysterious bar hostess who looks strangely familiar. But Midori’s willing to endure almost anything to hang on to her American dream, and she just might find that the love she’s been searching for far and wide is a whole lot closer than she thinks.

    MIDORI BY MOONLIGHT is available at your favorite bookstore or online at Amazon, BarnesandNoble.com, etc. It is also available in Japan. You can get more info and read an excerpt at:

    http://www.WendyNelsonTokunaga.com

    Midori By Moonlight – Debut Novel by Wendy Nelson Tokunaga
    Published by St. Martin’s Griffin – Available Now
    ISBN: 0312372612
    Trade Paperback – $13.95

    “Tokunaga depicts Midori’s determination to create her own version of the American dream with exuberance [in this] delectably frothy debut.” – Publisher’s Weekly

    “Tokunaga suffuses the book with warmth and lightness. . .Just as the right dessert hits the spot, reading this delicious slice of escapism makes for a perfect afternoon. But instead of suffering a sugar crash afterward, you’ll muse for days about the characters you’ve left behind and why they matter so much to you.”
    —San Francisco Chronicle

    “[Midori by Moonlight] draws upon vivid imagery when defining traits of Japanese culture and really hits the nail on the head when depicting some American attitudes toward others…. witty and charming.”
    —Charleston Gazette

    “Midori is endearing, feisty, and funny: the novel is a delight.” – Ellen Sussman, editor of Bad Girls and author of On a Night Like This

    “A delightful fusion of East meeting West, as if Banana Yoshimoto and Meg Cabot got together to create a romantic comedy.” – Lauren Baratz-Logsted, Vertigo

    Comment by Wendy Nelson Tokunaga - November 28, 2007 7:00 am

  28. Thank you Wendy. Good luck with the book!

    Comment by tamami - November 28, 2007 5:05 pm

  29. WOW!! I was just thinking of you today so I decided to have a look at your blog and… AMAZING! What exciting news! A little sister for Issey! How adorable. I am over the moon for you!

    We must have a girlie catch up soon! Maybe we could go out for afternoon tea one day soon?
    xxxx ari

    Comment by Ari - December 2, 2007 2:05 pm

  30. Hey Ari!!!!!! Good to hear from you. Funny, I was also thinking of you lately, & the fact we haven’t met for some time now… Girlie catch-up? Bring it on! D has winter hols from the 10th, so I can leave childcare with him ;-) & come out and play…!

    Comment by tamami - December 2, 2007 10:13 pm

  31. I saw that!
    :)

    D.

    Comment by Dirk - December 3, 2007 7:37 pm

  32. oops… !! :)

    Comment by tamami - December 4, 2007 12:50 am

  33. Ha ha!
    Well I’m free on thursday the 13th… whatdja say?

    Comment by Ari - December 4, 2007 7:16 pm

  34. ah, thursday… (& friday) is the day to bake for the market….

    Comment by tamami - December 4, 2007 7:39 pm

  35. Konnichiwa Tamami-san!
    I just discovered your blog site through Jamie Oliver’s Website (which I totally love :o) Your blog site is so inspirational and so was your message posted on Jamie’s site.
    I’m 24 years old and live in Dubai (been about 12 years now) and my dream is to become a pastry chef someday. I’ll definitely come and visit your stall the next time I’m in the UK!!

    Comment by Yu - December 5, 2007 11:55 am

  36. Konnichiwa Yu!
    Thank you for your kind words.

    I’m glad you found my post on the Jamie Oliver’s website useful – I hope you make your dream come true – I only discovered this dream at a later age of 28, so I’m jealous you know that being a pastry chef is what you want to do at only 24! I say ‘go for it’ while you’re young & while the idea is new & exciting! As you can read on my blog, I’m juggling my dream with being a mum also, so I often wish I had realized my baking dream a lot earlier when I was single & have lots of time…

    Comment by tamami - December 5, 2007 1:21 pm

  37. Congratulations on the pregnancy!!

    I happened upon your blog about a month ago and have been enjoying reading it. I too had a farmers market stall in SE London selling cakes, cookies and tarts up until 6 weeks ago when I had to give it up due to my pregnancy; I can totally identify with your experience at 7 weeks as at week 20 I had a similar experience of bleeding – lots of it – due to a low lying placenta – very very scary but God is Awesome and is in control. I have put my stall on the backburner until the baba (my first and its a boy!) comes in March.
    I really wish you all the best and as I can’t be on my stall anymore I shall now live vicariously through your blogs. Blessings & Peace xXx

    Comment by Ije - December 5, 2007 2:00 pm

  38. Thanks Ije!!!
    Ahh, a boy?! and it’s your first baba? We seem to be leading very similar lives then! (My first child is also a boy). And the due date for my current baba is end of March!!! How silmilar can we get??? ;-)
    I am also thinking of not attending the market, maybe from January… not sure yet.
    Good luck with yr pregnancy, & keep in touch! xx

    Comment by Tamami - December 5, 2007 5:35 pm

  39. Hi Tamami,

    Lovely meeting you at the market. (And ohhhh, that brownie was to die for….!) Alas, I’ve realised I’m not going to be in town the next 3 Saturdays :( So see you after Christmas!

    Comment by Rachel - December 5, 2007 9:22 pm

  40. Hi Rachel! Thanx for dropping by! Hope you enjoyed the market & the surrounding shops. It’s always nice to meet the blog readers! – Have a wonderful Christmas! T xx

    Comment by tamami - December 6, 2007 9:51 am

  41. Congratulations !!.
    I’d been out of island(town?) for 3 weeks.
    So good to be back to miyako and to know your wonderful news !!.

    toyomi

    Comment by toyomi - December 6, 2007 10:15 am

  42. Hello-o, Toyomi-san! Thanx!!! And have a lovely Xmas in Miyako!

    Comment by Tamami - December 6, 2007 6:33 pm

 

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