Yes！
I am expecting -
childing -
got a bun in the oven.
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The oven’s been ‘on’ for 20 weeks now, exactly half-way of the 40 week pregnancy period. The bump is getting bigger by the day. I can feel kicks & movements already too!
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My my, it is soooo very exciting, & it feels just right. I feel blessed that a life has decided to come & be my baby. Day by day, I strongly feel maternal toward her. Yes, ‘her’. Just found out yesterday that ‘it’ is a girl!!! ;-) :-)
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I love her so much already it’s amazing. I think it’s because I experienced a near-miscarriage with this pregnancy in week 7, for 3-days thinking I did lose the baby, that I feel so precious about this life.

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Those 3 days…, is still quite raw for me. I will never forget the moment when the (young) doctor at the emergency room telling me that it IS a miscarriage.

I will never forget the shock & anger of having to wait ’til Tuesday for a scan as it’s a bank holiday weekend… (A miscarriage is not deemed an emergency, since once it starts, it can not be stopped).
I will never forget the moment when I decided to sell cakes anyhow the following day (there were so many baked cakes - was I to throw it away? Spend the whole of Saturday sobbing in my bed?). I preferred the idea of being busy & not think of it.
I will never forget the tears D tried to wipe without me seeing. Sitting on the street curb after the market had finished, our son in-between us, merrily eating a white chocolate ice-cream.
I will never forget gulping in the urge to cry, waiting for a scan at the doctors after 3 days.

I will never forget the surprise & the super-joy of finding out the baby was in fact absolutely fine & healthy. (it was the inside of my stomach bleeding, not the baby).
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So anyway, this winter, you’re gonna see me down at the market with ridiculously over-sized winter-coat that belongs to D, since my coats don’t zip-up no more. And oh, I’ll be wearing tights, leggings, knee-length-socks & then trousers too, - I’m sure I will look like I’ve put a fat-suit on… totally not on-trend, especially down the trendsy Hackney vibe with skinny young girls strutting the latest fashion, but oh well, c’est la vie…!

This year, what with our son old enough to notice the Halloween mood in the air, I bought a medium size pumpkin at my new local grocery shop, & we carved a Jack O’ Lantern for our very first time!

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It was totally great fun, easier to cut than what we’d imagined. We love our ikkle Jack so much, … watching the warm coloured candle flame & the whole pumpkin glowing, it’s rather soulful. - - It’s shame to think he’s gonna rot away eventually… But then again, that’s the way nature intended, innit… Just expect about 10 Jack O’ Lanterns next year. Coz I’m totally hooked!

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So, after my two week absence from the market (been away because of the house-move), I’m officially back as “business-as-usual” with lots of happy baking.

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I’ve been back at the market for two weeks since then, & almost selling out on both, so I’m chirpy enough. The new kitchen is actually not-so-bad as I’d nightmared about either. The electric hob manages to make great Tarte Tatins, & the oven doesn’t have heat-spots. I don’t even mind crouching for that oven that’s underneath the hob. - Although…, I guess the only qualm is that the new oven is 1/3 smaller (I can only make 4 cakes at one time, whereas before I could bung in 6), hence I can only produce 2/3 the amount normally, despite that it’s still the same amount of stirring & whisking involved. And crucially, I have noticed this difference when I count my sales at the end of the day…
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But that doesn’t faze me too much - I can tell myself that it’s “okay” y’know, it could’ve been a lot worse, & I just have to devise a better working plan. However, what did faze me last week was when a lady customer said a small but rather unnecessary bitter comment upon purchasing a medium pear tarte that she felt was too expensive (it was £5.50). She surely could have then not bought the damn tarte right?, but instead buys it & says: “I should remember never to buy cakes from you.” It shocked me & I immediately apologized. All I could do was put on a slight weary smile & wait for response. The customer then just left (with the cake). - I don’t know how I let it, but it was a real ‘pull-me-down’. I guess it was because it was the end of the day, I was tired. I knew I hadn’t made as much sales that day & I was weak. What could have been just an insignificant comment turned significant in my heart, & at that point, for a moment or two, I toyed with the idea of quitting. - I certainly didn’t handle this well…
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Sure, I could have said something bitter back to her I guess, like “You do HAVE the option of NOT buying, woman! Go buy cheapo factory-made ones with God-knows-what’s-in-it from the supermarket!” but I’m never the type to come up with clever lines quickly enough. I’m always the type that goes over what to say ‘after’ the event. Like, I should’ve said this & that…, looping the scenario over in my head. Besides, I try to stick to my belief system that talking back is not considered good customer service, however unjustified it may have been. Maybe that’s the Japanese in me - ‘the customer is always right’.
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Later, this incident reminded me of Marco Pierre White, the 3 Michelin starred English chef & restaurateur, on ITV’s Hell’s Kitchen television show. The first show was on the 4th of September, the day I moved, & I pleaded my brother to set-up our TV straight away so as not to miss the show. I had never been rich enough to go to his restaurant, but having heard his reputation as a great chef, I wanted to see the show & be inspired.
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But, instead of admirative ‘ooh-ing’ & ‘aah-ing’, I finished watching the show with disgust, & vowed never to watch the rest of the series. What I saw was a man with too much ego for his own good. - A customer had complained, & the chef took it bad, & told his staff to tell the customer to leave…!! When the gentleman-ly customer decided to go up to the chef to talk direct (in my opinion, it should’ve been the chef going to the table instead), the chef then seethes “You have two choices – apologize or leave” & shouted after the man leaving: “It will be the longest walk in history, boy. But you are taking it, aren’t you? Nice shirt by the way. Good evening.” O.m.g., this kind of customer treatment is really uncalled for. I tell you, even if somebody payed me, I wouldn’t go eat that man’s food. For me, dining out should be an experience of good vibes. That’s what makes a good night out. Not sitting in a stuck-up establishment, too scared to disagree. - I wouldn’t want to eat any food that’s been cooked with heartless & bad chi, in-case it rubs off!
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On the other hand, I came across a good example of customer service just last weekend, when my family dined out at Matsuri restaurant to celebrate my mother’s birthday. The mini-cab they had organized for us for the journey home ripped us off - big time - & when my brother called up the restaurant to complain, Matsuri immediately phoned the cab-firm, & then phoned us back straight away, acknowledged the fault, apologized & would be sending us a cheque to pay for the difference of what should have been the right fare. - Now THAT gets gold for customer service!

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To sum up, I think the key points that scored high was:

• The restaurant had listened carefully to my brother’s complaint
• Graciously accepted the criticism
• Apologized & expressed regrets - did not try to make excuses
• Resolved the situation immediately - offered satisfactory amends

Their response was proper & text-book worthy. We felt we were taken seriously, & our custom is not lost - we will go back to that restaurant again!

… & I promise I will be back with a vengeance.

My absence from blogging has been far too long, so I thought in the meantime, I’d just like to let you guys know that I AM getting my bottom in gear & am currently writing a proper post - it should be up by the end of the weekend - if not, well…,please don’t blame me…, I probably had a cake too many & decided to be a couch-potato instead, zapping through the whole series of my recent TV fascination: HEROES…

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ps: the move went well!

(Pennsylvania Dutch Hex Signs - Beautifully painted folk art to decorate your home. These are symbols to bring good luck to your home. Each colour & shapes used have it’s meaning. For example, hearts mean love, birds for luck & happiness. Tulips for faith, & stars also for good luck. Blue colour conveys protection, white purity, green abundance & red strong emotion.)

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The other day, my dear blog reader/ customer told me of her Indian custom -

“when one moves into a new house - one heats a pan of milk and allows it to boil over, thus ensuring the house will always have abundance.”

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I’ve no attachment to any particular religion but, I love the notion of making a point out of celebrating Life’s important moments. And now that this ritual has been mentioned to me, I’m thinking of doing it once I settle down.

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Quite often you hear the phrase: ‘you are what you eat’, which, I’m sure many of you will agree, is very true indeed. The food you eat has bearing on what your state of mind & health is. -
In a similar sense, I think ‘you are how & where you live’ also, as your habitat reveals the facets of your true being. And so, it is in that respect, that I feel with certainty that starting life in the new house with a food related ritual befits my character!

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Upon researching a bit more about the ‘boiling-over milk’ ritual, I found out that:

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“It is said to be better if the milk falls out to the east of the house. If you know which side of the house is east, then you can direct the froth of the milk towards that side. You have to let only a little milk fall out.”

& that:

you serve that milk to your housewarming guests, either as is, sweetened with a bit of sugar, or you can cook with it to make a proper meal. I’m thinking, maybe I’ll make mine a hot chocolate…

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Upon this research, I noticed there’s many ways of housewarming/ blessing using food. For example, in Russia, there’s the tradition of sweeping the new home with rock salt, which is believed to release negative energy.

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In fact SALT is used symbolically in many cultures it seems. For example, in Feng Shui, to prevent & avoid diseases to come into your house & your life, few grains of salt is sprinkled in rooms, especially in corners & at all openings such as windows, doors & fireplace openings. And then there is the ‘bread & salt’ to be given as housewarming gift signifying that the new family would always have the necessities of life. (tradition comes from an old Russian folk custom).

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Bread & Salt crops up again as a housewarming gift idea - this time from Germanic origin:
Bread so you’ll never go hungry
Salt so you’ll have good luck
Wine so you’ll never be thirsty
Something interesting to remember when choosing a housewarming gift, I think.

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Other noteworthy traditional gifts that one can give are:

- a broom to sweep away the evil

- sugar or honey representing sweetness in their lives

- coin to bring good fortune to them

- plants signifying prosperous life

- candles for light in their lives

- wood for harmony & peace in the house

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In my home country Japan, there is the beautiful custom of giving out soba (buckwheat noodle) still in it’s packet to the neighbours on both sides, & to the house in front of you (and if you’re moving in to a block of flats, it’s apparently advisable to give soba to the directly above & below you too!).

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Why soba? Well, its a playful meaning, as ‘soba’ sounds just like another Japanese word which means “next to/ close to”. Hence, you’re signalling that you’d like to start amicable relationship with them.

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Naturally, I knew of this custom, but, in my case, when time comes, I’m not sure I’d give out soba noodles… - it’ll feel too strange for them, I’m sure! Possibly too intrusive?? So maybe a quick knock on the door or a card through the door??

(Pendant Jelly Lights - Made from vintage jelly moulds, with jelly mould roses and silk covered flex.)

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As faithful readers will know, I am moving to my new house this September. I’ve been extensively looking for sofas, coffee & dining tables. So far I’ve not come across ones that I like (that’s within our budget), but during my search, I did come across many great designs, that’s related to food/ kitchen (+etc), so here’s a snippet of them that caught my attention!

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(Beech Ten Drawer Apple Rack - Made from solid beech, this traditional & useful piece is ideal not just for storing fruit & veg, but makes a lovely storage unit for blankets etc)

(Duncan Mug - Three coffee mugs featuring embossed molds of Custard Cream, Jammie Dodger or Shortbread that reveal themselves as you finish your drink. By Wai-Lian Scannell, London.)

(Oak Roller Towel Holder - Traditional oak roller towel holder made in England.)

(Chop2Pot Folding Chopping Board)

(Bespoke Shaker Wheeled Table)

(Original Rainbow Maker - Fill your room with a dazzling swirl of rainbow with clever solar powered device that sticks to the window by suction cap. Direct sunlight turns the motor, and, in turn, the Swarovski crystal rotates, creating beautiful rainbows that dance around the room.)

(Two Tops Table - Marcel Wanders 2005. Solid oak frame, mdf with oak veneer top. with hidden compartment)

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Finally, a bit of inspirational link to a House & Garden feature on actress, Chloë Sevigny’s house. She’s got such amazing sense of style… love her…!

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PS:

Last week at the market was superb. What with the weather forecast telling me it’s gonna be hot, I gambled on making extra, & bingo, it paid off. There were tons of people out, enjoying the hot weather that we’ve been sorely missing the whole of last month, & these people were hungry for cakes! I presume most of them were taking it to a picnic or to a BBQ party.
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- AND, guess what guys, after my rambling of poor sales the week before, this time I managed to sell out in record-breaking time of 2.40pm. ;-) Not so bad afterall ei?
The whole day was just wonderful - friends drop by to see me, & then my ex-flatmate girlfriends come by at the end to meet up, & we sit outside the pub basking the gorgeous sun drinkin’ n’ chatting, looking at the market packing up after a buzzing day. D & our son join us after they’ve been to a birthday party, then an old college friend drops by out-of-the-blue too! - I managed to get very drunk after that…

(Housing Works Used Book Cafe in New York is operated by volunteers, & the profits are used exclusively to help the homeless & people with HIV/AIDS. The welcoming environment has towering bookcases with new, rare, & dog-eared books. There’s plenty of comfy places to sit, & it has brilliant cafe serving drinks, cakes, snacks, & warm food. Good cause, good design.)

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… x … x … x … x … x … x … x … x … x … x … x … x… x

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Let me share with you today my friends, my dream.

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I have a dream that one day I own my very own shop. It’s an idea I’ve been toying with ever since my passion for chocolates & pastry became obsession.

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Exact ideas of it keeps changing, no, more like evolving.

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First it was a 100% chocolate shop selling my handmade bonbons/ truffles alongside the best & largest collection of chocolate bars from around the world lining one wall. I thought of tricks like “Top 10 Bars of the Month” & “Coco&Me Reccommendation” panels just like what you’d see done in large bookstores, & to make brands compete. I imagined it as the ultimate hub for serious chocolate lovers in London where they don’t have to sift through inferior brands to find the gems. - The working kitchen would be visible from the shop so that the customers understand straight away that the bonbons by the counter are all properly handmade. There’ll be me, moulding chocolate shapes in this kitchen, & I could organise demonstrations & workshops to be held there too. - The shop will also have a small cafe area to serve the best hot chocolate in town, & plated desserts such as warm chocolate souffle served with cacao nib clotted cream ice cream. - The shop decor would be :: clean but warm & comfy like visiting grandma’s old kitchen, slightly scandinavian in design, lots of quality wooden furniture, with original shaker stove with it’s black pipe work dominant.
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As my passion for pastry became too prominent for me not to ignore, the shop idea evolved to also serving cakes, etc. I would display the cakes just like I do at the market - on one long table. In the ideal world, I would live above the shop a-la “Chocolat” the movie. No wasting time with commuting in to work, & I’d also be able to be around to see my kid grow while I work.
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Then my fascination tentacles started to touch the subject of Tea & Coffee that I’d want to serve in my cafe. First off, I bought two dozen tea types from Whittards online (darjeeling, kenya, keemun, assam, lapsang souchong, white tea, etc). As I go through my stock of teas that will last me for many years to come, I read up several books on tea (about origins, how to pour the best cuppa, & how to appreciate each flavour).

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Next, I wanted to learn how to do latte-art, so I bought this fantastic book from amazon.co.jp called 女性トップバリスタが教えるエスプレッソ&コーヒー which has a teaching DVD of a barista showing you how to draw with the milk foam, aswell as the correct way of making different types of coffee with different equipments (ie: filter, syphon, etc). I really think that if a cafe served their cappuccino like the pictures below, you’ll be the talk of town for sure!

(This latte art design is called rosetta)

(Any Miyazaki fans recognise this? Yup, this most amazing art is ‘Kiki’ (Japanese animation character), drawn with a tip with melted chocolate. - It’s to be found at the cafe of Ghibli Museum, Mitaka, Japan. They also draw other famous Ghibli characters on your coffee, such as Nausicaä, Raputa & Totoro!)

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Anyway, to cut this rather long blog-post short, I’ll fast forward away all the other ideas I’ve been pondering on, & write about my most recent idea for my shop.

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The idea came when I saw an article on Housing Works Used Book Cafe in New York (see picture of cafe at the top of this post). First off, I fell in love. It’s the sort of place I would L.O.V.E to go to - even on my own. And that’s mighty special because I’m a sort of person that just CAN NOT go places alone because I’d be too conscious with the other people in the room, I just won’t be comfortable.
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When I found out about the HW cafe, I felt instantly that this was the ‘plus alpha’ that I was looking for. Y’know, that ’something’ that makes a place special. I can imagine running a small patisserie in a used book shop. I love books, I wanna be surrounded by books, & the more I think about it, I really think that secondhand books are the way to go, what with today’s consumers are so much more conscious in terms of recycling!
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Currently, I’m pondering wether it should primarily be a “library” with a purchase option, if the customer decided to buy the book instead of borrowing it. I think I prefer it that way. Yess, a library with a very tasty patisserie/ cafe/ tea room! - I love that the Housing Works’ profits goes to a worthy cause, I myself personally donate to three organizations every month since 2 years ago, & I’ll want to duplicate their ethos & put the profits from the library part to a charity too.
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To be honest, there’s so much I want to do - I want to serve full english breakfast in the morning, I wanna do ‘afternoon tea sets’, I want to serve alchohol & open late in the evening, like til 2am. I’d organise events & workshops. I’m imagining the cafe to be a self-service style - they get a tray & I serve them from behind the counter. Easy style. It’ll be a quiet, cozy place with varied selection of books, where there’ll be comfy armchairs & proper desks to work on. Oh, & most importantly, clean bathrooms!

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Reality check:

I know that now is not the right time to make this a reality. Right now, I have a much more important project at hand: being a mummy to my little kiddo. I’m up to my neck with life as is now, so how could I possibly add any more projects?! I don’t know anything about running a proper business, & I certainly haven’t a budget for it! And so even though today & tomorrow, it won’t happen, I will like to think that I’m in the ‘process’ toward it. So with this faith, let me ponder away til then & keep on dreaming!

This week, I spent my blogging-time setting up a webpage listing some of the cooking books, foodie films & baking equipments that I highly recommend! So please have a look by linking to www.cocoandme.com/store. Many thanks!

(Covertiles from Studio JSPR. These are ceramic tiles that reveal the working parts, encasing the pipes & make a visual statement while at it! Comes in either black or white.)

(Picture courtesy of Shaker Museum And Library. I would love the kitchen to be in the original Shaker style, surrounded by expertly crafted wood furniture & white wall. The counter with thick marble top looks amazing.)

(36″single bowl belfast sink. I want a really big sink like this that would fit my big pots!)

(Ceramic drainer to put on top of the counter, along side the belfast sink. It’s slightly slanted for better drainage. Loving the subtle criss-cross lines.)


(Antique Japanese kitchen cabinets from www.tansu.co.uk - Traditional & functional statement furniture.)

(Zettel’z 6, 1998. Designed by Ingo Maurer. Imagine having the recipes hanging from this pendant!)

(For the lighting, I’d also want to install this Jean Prouvé’s Potence lamp. Another design classic. The single metal rod extends almost 7 feet and pivots 180 degrees, so it can light various parts of the kitchen! Available from Vitra.)

(Uten.Silo designed by Dorothee Becker, 1969. With its different-sized & shaped containers, its metal hooks and clips, Uten.Silo is a great organizer! Another design classic again from Vitra.)

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The last several months we’ve been looking ‘n looking ‘n looking for a house to either buy or to rent, as the sale of our family home is nearing it’s completion in coming September. Anyone who’d ever been house-hunting would agree that it’s a total ***** to go through - as you face the depressing reality of how little your money gets you, as you face the dissapointment of your offer not being accepted, & as you consider compromizing, ie, good location but small house VS bigger house in the sticks.

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BUT, I am very glad to announce, after many heartaches, we’ve found ‘the one’ just last week! And our offer’s been accepted! Huurrayy! Yay! Yippee! - I know I know, there ain’t no ink on the papers yet, & some of my girlfriends would say “Oh don’t jinx it”, but I don’t believe in this ‘jinx’ business anyway. Infact I hate it when friends don’t tell you things, but goes on to tell another friend anyway, calling it a ’secret’ & wink “Don’t tell anyone yet” - pure school playground behaviour if you ask me. As for me, when I’ve got good news, I’m just too happy to keep it schtum!

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Anyway, one of the major deciding point for wanting to buy this particular house was because of the kitchen. It’s a pretty big size room with a slightly higher ceiling than normal, I fell in love with the space right away. And as you’ve probably guessed, I spend A LOT of time in the kitchen, so size matters big time.

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Everything’s in pristine condition, ready for me to start cooking straight away - only…, it’s not in a style I like! How can I explain it… the current one’s so bland, no identity. The colour is so not me, & the layout is odd with two round sinks (!) on the island in the middle of the room. And the oven is on the small side, under the hob, which means I’d be constantly crouching down to access it (my current one is at eye level).

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But I’m not too worried y’know, not only would it be a good thigh exercise to reach the oven (!), I know that it’s just a matter of changing it, getting a new kitchen installed. We won’t have the funds to do it for a looong while, but one day I’d like to. Oh heck, I’ll forfeit clothes shopping & going to the hairdressers, & skimp on giving tips at eateries n’ look bad to save money quicker to do it. For with passion for baking comes passionate ideas for the ultimate kitchen. It’s like hand-in-hand. And I can tell you, I’m a girl with serious backlog of dreams & ideas for ‘my’ kitchen!

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So for this week’s blog entry, here are some of the kitchen ideas I’ve been fantasizing (the collection of pictures above this text), although most of it is probably wishfully thinking - *sigh…* if only money was not an issue!

(Picture supplied by the happy couple, beautifully presented to me in a picture frame!)

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This week I was given some photographs of the wedding cake I made several weeks ago, together with a very touching thank you card. So here’s one of the pic minus their faces. Notice the cute fimo figures on the top? The clever groom made it himself!! Everyone, one two three, ‘Ahhh…’! I’m so happy it travelled well all the way to Wales, & that the tiers withstood being stacked up during their wedding day. It doesn’t look like the leaning Tower of Pisa like I nightmared about atall! Yay!
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Last Saturday at the market

… was H.O.T. And I find it’s extra hot under the plastic tarpaulin which covers our stall roofs. I was ‘baking’!

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The line up of the things I make has changed a bit because of the weather change too. The handmade chocolates have long gone from the line-up for the mo, what with chocolate starting to melt from something like 19-20 degrees apparently, I’ll probably start making them again in mid-Autumn.

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Others missing from the table are lemon-cream tarts, & chocolate cream/ ganache tarts, & so, to be honest, right now my stall table is looking rather ‘brown’ (except for the bright colours of the fruit tarts), just full of ‘100% baked’ goods. A ‘baking’ lady selling baked cakes… yup, that’s me for the Summer…

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PS: by the way, have you tried the new ice cream from Magnum called ‘Equador Dark‘ yet? Next time you’re choosing ice cream at the newsagents, believe me, give it a go. I can promise you it’s rather delish. (I was looking at the Magnum website, & they also have a single origin ice cream called ‘Colombia Aroma’ - has anyone tried this? Sounds good…!)