(Ready to face the world with fighting pose!)

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On Tuesday 18th of March, in the early hours of the morning, the baby decided to ‘knock on the door’ to let us know that she is ready to come out & face the world.

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With that, we got up quickly & changed from our PJs. The curious thing was that I was the first to get ready. I tried to maintain calm but I must admit, I did shout about ordering people:

“What ARE you doing!? There’s no time to brush hair or brush teeth!! COME ON! COME O-N!” I mean, it doesn’t take much time to put your trousers & then coat on, right??

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The good thing was, Lady Luck was on our side. Since it was way before the morning rush hour, the ride to the hospital was super smooth, with no traffic to stop our way. Honestly, thank Goodness it didn’t take long, because the labour pains were kicking in pretty fast during the ride & I was growing anxious by the minute. – I still shudder with the thought of what if this had happened during the day? The car ride could’ve easily have taken as long as an hour…! Or what if D or my father happened to be not by me? Who would’ve driven me in then??

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Once at the hospital, things were happening quickly, & at 9.28am, she was born – instantly filling the room with a fantastic cry. The nurses straight away commented on what good lungs she has!

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I got to hold her straight away. My first sight of her was a bit blurry what with my eyes gone all watery with emotion, but I could see that she was perfect in every sense & I was soooooo happy. I think I was muttering “thank you” repeatedly.
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(She’s half-German, half-Japanese. But she’s definately inherited my Japanese almond-shaped eyes! The forehead & hair is D’s.)

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So, the name:

After a week of calling her “the baby”, we settled on naming her SAKURA. It means ‘cherry blossom’ in Japanese. But for the kanji symbol, rather than using the kanji for ‘cherry blossom’, we decided to spell it like this: 咲良, made up of two symbols, as it sits better with her European surname. Not only does the first kanji means ‘to blossom’, it also means ‘to smile’ in ancient Chinese. – May she be blessed with good smiling people surrounding her, herself always smiling. May she be as beautiful as the cherry blossom, that warms everyone’s hearts with messages of Spring’s arrival.

(Over this Winter holiday we watched Jean-Luc Godard’s ‘anti-musical’ musical “Une femme est une femme” (A Woman is a Woman,1961) & I instantaneously fell in love with the lead actress Anna Karina. – Obviously the director fell for her too, as they married after filming!)

(She’s sooo cute! I hear Agnès b. has channeled Anna Karina as the muse for their latest collection. I wonder if they sell a similar trench coat & cardi? I must get myself to one of their shops…!)

(In the strip cabaret: This was the ‘it’ scene for me, when she seductively sang to the camera, about her beauty. The song melody has been playing in my head ever since…!)
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x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

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Firstly, Happy New Year to you!

Every time I greet the new year, I just can not believe that it’s ‘Another’ new year. It’s like ‘What?! 2008?!!’ How can time fly so quickly? I mean, I still can’t believe we’re in the 200x (in the Noughties) anyways!

Maybe my reaction is a sign of getting old… *sigh…*
Just yesterday, our friend T told us how he had a work-experience student coming in for a week at his workplace, who’s born in the… mid-90’s! – Huh?! mid-90’s??! Everyone around the dinner-table (all aged 30+) shook their heads in disbelief (& consequently checked if their ears are still hearing correct)!

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SO, dearest blog readers! Have you thought of what your new year’s resolution might be? Any plans or goals for this year? In Japan, we say “1年の計は元旦にあり”, It means New Year’s Day is the right timing to plan your year ahead when your mind & spirit is fresh.
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Huh? What? My new year’s resolution/ plan?
Well, I’d like 2008 to be about re-establishing my passion for making chocolates & pastry making. On self-reflection, the whirlwind of the last two years, franticly making the same stuff for every Saturday, had not given me enough time for new explorations. And the products I produce for the market is often limited/ restricted to popular stuff that would sell well, & I certainly hadn’t been making desserts (such as with mousse, ice-cream, etc) that is not suited to sell if not in a refrigerated food display.

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This year’s schedule is going to be quite different, what with giving birth to my second child. – meaning I’d be spending a lot more time at home, meaning there’ll be a bit more ‘Me’-Time! Yay! Very exciting. I want to use that time to make new desserts & do all-sorts of things I wanted to do but couldn’t because of my market-commitments. Be it working on my camera-skills, channeling sexy-cute Anna Karina for fashion…, & how about being a better mommy who’s there everyday… …
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Currently I’m thinking of working for another one more month in February (I want to be selling chocolates for the Valentine’s season), before giving birth. And then give myself a six month break, & go back to regularly doing the market again from around mid to end of September (I want to start after my first child starts reception class – he’s gonna be going All-day 9.00 to 3.30!). I’ll be working for the whole of the Winter season, which is the best season for selling my chocolates.

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– So for anyone who visits my stall, it seems like I won’t be around much this year… I will miss you…

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“Happy New Year to you!
May every great new day
Bring you sweet surprises!”

t xxx
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Yes！
I am expecting –
childing –
got a bun in the oven.
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The oven’s been ‘on’ for 20 weeks now, exactly half-way of the 40 week pregnancy period. The bump is getting bigger by the day. I can feel kicks & movements already too!
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My my, it is soooo very exciting, & it feels just right. I feel blessed that a life has decided to come & be my baby. Day by day, I strongly feel maternal toward her. Yes, ‘her’. Just found out yesterday that ‘it’ is a girl!!! ;-) :-)
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I love her so much already it’s amazing. I think it’s because I experienced a near-miscarriage with this pregnancy in week 7, for 3-days thinking I did lose the baby, that I feel so precious about this life.

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Those 3 days…, is still quite raw for me. I will never forget the moment when the (young) doctor at the emergency room telling me that it IS a miscarriage.

I will never forget the shock & anger of having to wait ’til Tuesday for a scan as it’s a bank holiday weekend… (A miscarriage is not deemed an emergency, since once it starts, it can not be stopped).
I will never forget the moment when I decided to sell cakes anyhow the following day (there were so many baked cakes – was I to throw it away? Spend the whole of Saturday sobbing in my bed?). I preferred the idea of being busy & not think of it.
I will never forget the tears D tried to wipe without me seeing. Sitting on the street curb after the market had finished, our son in-between us, merrily eating a white chocolate ice-cream.
I will never forget gulping in the urge to cry, waiting for a scan at the doctors after 3 days.

I will never forget the surprise & the super-joy of finding out the baby was in fact absolutely fine & healthy. (it was the inside of my stomach bleeding, not the baby).
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So anyway, this winter, you’re gonna see me down at the market with ridiculously over-sized winter-coat that belongs to D, since my coats don’t zip-up no more. And oh, I’ll be wearing tights, leggings, knee-length-socks & then trousers too, – I’m sure I will look like I’ve put a fat-suit on… totally not on-trend, especially down the trendsy Hackney vibe with skinny young girls strutting the latest fashion, but oh well, c’est la vie…!

(Last month, my customers Joel & Bec took the photograph above. Then came back last week to give me the print-out! How sweet of you guys! You’ve made me happy. Thank you!)

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This week, I want to tell you about some of the nice customers that I often encounter at my stall. I thought it important to let you know that the ‘not-so-wonderful customer’ I told you about from last week really was a rare case!

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These lovely customers & many others are the very reason why I don’t get a part-timer to man my stall – ‘market-life’ is too fun to miss! ;-) I love meeting them, & when a regular face doesn’t show up, I would be thinking of them.

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In no particular order;

• There is the charming lady pensioner who every week pops-by around mid-morning to buy a slice of ‘flourless chocolate cake’ (her husband is always standing 2 steps away from the table). She is the very cause of why I have kept the price of it still at £1.80-a-slice, when all the other cake slices have gone up by 20 pence to £2.00… because I’m scared the change might dishearten her & put her off.
• Then there’s a man who also visits every week, similar to my Dad’s age, who buys a ‘fruit-heart-tart’ for himself. If I don’t have any customers waiting to be served, we chat all sorts across the table. ‘What’s your favourite fruit?’ ‘How was your week?’ to even ‘Do you believe in spirits?’ He says ‘toodle-pips for now!’ when saying bye. I think we have introduced our names before, but I’m the crappiest when it comes to remembering names, so for me he is called ‘The Toodle Pip Man’. – On that note about introducing – I’ve had loads of customers who’ve told me their names. I must start a little book to note them down…
• A while ago, there was a young vegan man who can not buy anything from my stall (as everything I make has butter). He pleasantly suggested I make vegan stuff to sell (it should be popular because it is untapped market), & came back the following week with a print-out of a vegan cake recipe for me (with some notes scribbled on the side explaining some of the unusual ingredients that it were listing)! So sweet of him…
• ‘Fruit-heart-tart’ is also popular with the fabulously dressed young lady. When I see her, I smile & say: ‘the usual right?’ & it’s a quick 1-2-3 step process. Although, last week, she surprised me a bit by ordering the ‘lemon-heart-tart’ instead!
• Every other week, I get a visit from the French jewellery stylist (who always has a natural & happy smile on her). Her choice is always the medium chocolate tart. The other week, I used more milk chocolate than dark (as I didn’t have much dark chocolate left) – the following week she told me she had noticed. Goes to show I mustn’t tamper around with the regular items…!
• Old man who I think looks like a thin version of Einstein, likes my lemon tart – & buys the large one almost every week for his family.
• Once, another regular-face bought the ‘fruit-heart-tart’ to take all the way to his friend in Brussels!
• Last two Winters, my stall always had a visit from a guy who bought a dozen or so of the truffles & mendiants. He is a silent type, never ever chats or smile. Such a comparison to the others who visit the market, that are ultra-sociable. The guy is mysterious to me (I wonder what he does for living?), but I like him – his presence is definitely part of my market-life. I wonder if he’ll be back this Winter? I hope so.
• I have been doing special-orders now & again for people looking for wedding cakes. I think they are all locals who know my stuff well. What’s charming is that these people are super-super-appreciative that I make them, I mean, they’re paying proper fees but nevertheless! I’m so happy my cake is part of someone’s special day.
• There is an elderly lady who visits every week that buys just one item for herself. We comment on how we look each week & we share lots of personal news – happy & sad. Some time ago she was so sad that her friend died (of old age). Anything I said to comfort her was probably going from one ear to the other… but maybe she wanted someone totally unrelated like me to just tell, as part of healing process. – It reminds me of a girl who I barely knew who asked me to accompany her to the abortion clinic (I did), & another who told me about her husband’s affair. You realize people just need someone to dump their pain on a bit.

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Other’s I want to quickly mention before this list gets any longer are those who come back to the stall just to say ‘Hi’, & those others who come to give me a nice feedback: ‘The tart last week was great!’, & those who bring their visitors to me & say ‘This is the stall & the lady I was telling you about!’
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Last week at the market:

Hooray, it’s that time of the year again – as I finally started making chocolates! The weather is unmistakably cool enough for me to start selling without risk of them melting. What with not making them for
a while, I totally got the quantity of cream & chocolate wrong, & made 70 classic vanilla truffles instead of making 30 that I’d planned… Damn… But I had friends around the next day, so I thought I could just stuff these girls with the left-overs. – To my delight, I still managed to sell out on them! Yay! I’m gonna try make more varieties for next time…

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Last Thursday D & I had an argument. Oh no no, don’t worry, it was nothing serious atall, but, the next evening, he came home from work with an apple ipod shuffle as an apology gift, bless. – For some time, I’d been telling him I was considering purchasing one, to listen to it for times like when I walk to the nursery (20 minutes) to fetch our son, so I was happy to accept it indeed.
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So far, I.am.lovin’.it! The dinky thing (mine’s orange) is clipped on to my top all the time & I walk around with it at home. I casually listen to it on & off, hooked just on one ear (so that I can listen out for my son), while washing up dishes & rather unelegantly, even while on the bog…

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And what was my first choice of content I imported? An audiobook – for once, ever since our kiddo’s born, I have a way to ‘read’ a book.

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The audiobook I have downloaded via itunes store is titled ‘The Martha Rules: 10 Essentials for Achieving Success‘ written by Martha Stewart & read by herself. Martha Stewart has been a bit of a heroine for me for sometime. Okay okay, she maybe a convicted felon…, but I admire her for managing to turn her personal passion into an undeniably successful business empire. (All the more because she started just as a home based caterer, just like me!) In that respect, I can see that there’s something that I can learn from her & her business. Her omnimedia style is inspirational, & her sense of style is beautiful throughout, focusing on pretty much everything domestic (food, kitchen, bodycare, everything home interior, wedding, home-crafts, pets, flowers & gardening…). I can understand that they are all interconnected – if you’re interested in food, you’d want a better kitchen & equipment, & a nice interior to serve that food, etc.
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The chapter on ‘what’s passion got to do with it’, really struck a chord. It’s true, ‘when work is based in passion, it does not feel like work’, & that ‘passion is the first and most essential ingredient’. And what she says: be frugal, trust yourself, know your customers, pay attention to the details, make it beautiful; boosts what I also believe in.

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Her website is a treasure trove of ideas for domestic style. It’s a huge website, which is a bit too overwhelming, but when ever I have time, I will browse through it, with the keenness of a kid in a candy store.
My current haunt is the video library section of ‘The Martha Stewart Show’. Notable clip was when Martha invited Jacques Torres (Chocolatier) to make molded chocolate turkey, rabbit & easter eggs on her show. I was so impressed & happy to see that she invited a true proffessional like Torres to showcase ‘good’ chocolate work – something I rarely see on easy-going UK food shows.

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Now, my fascination of Martha recently got me ordering a year subscription of her Martha Stewart Living Magazine. My first issue should arrive end of this month. Can’t wait.

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I think I rather love Martha.

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This Saturday:

The weather was good. The people came out in droves. My large cakes went in no time & my chocolate truffles were bought up quickly too. I feel as though I made ‘just’ the right amount of items, which is unusual for me – I often make too much & have to stay extra longer to finish selling them.
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This week, I experimented with making some ‘baked cheese tarts’. It’s basically a cheese cake encased in a tart case. It is absolutely delicious, I love baked cheese cake, rather than ‘rare’. BUT, it ‘looks’ real boring & savoury like a quiche. I scribbled the word ‘cheese’ on it in white chocolate to somehow make it look better, but am just not 100% satisfied. While having a chat with a chef called Roger who drops by regularly, we thought that maybe baking some raspberries in the cake may help – the red blobs scattered against the cream/ brown colour of the cake may look good… although I think it is a 50/50 chance that it might instead look sickly. I’ll have a go anyway…

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Post Update 07.05.07:

I’ve just read through my 3rd issue, & I can gladly say I am happy that I’ve subscribed to it. The articles are interesting & informative. And the pictures are stylish & inspirational. BUT… sorry Martha, there’s too many advertisement pages in it, pretty much inbetween each article, & even on the side columns on article pages! It’s hard to tell which page is real content, especially as advertisers nowadays try to design their adverts like it is part of magazine content…! And also dear Martha, the quality of the paper stock is cheap. My butter fingers can’t catch the pages! I think it is a shame when the magazine format does not match the quality content…